Day 1

First, the records with Stefan and Chaka.

Chaka and I met up last Friday, a week from now. He only had about 45 minutes to work with me, so we just tried something new: sitting in front of a cafe and calling out to girls who walk by. We only managed one each, but it was fun, and I wanna try it again.
Stefan and I went to Umeda on Monday. I had some new subgoals, since my original goals (walking up and asking for directions to 5 girls a time) have become less challenging: Five girls, simple as possible but also quickly as possible, and then another five girls with whom I take my time but challenge myself with a little more (asking opinion openers or something else silly or fun), for a total of 10 at a time, or 20 a week. I succeeded.

I realized the first five are like the stretch before a workout. I don't feel nervous about it, just lethargic. Once I get the ball rolling, though, I get back into the flow and the rest are kind of downhill, it snowballs.

Anyhow, I got one number and Stefan got an insta-date with a girl passing out flyers. Good times.

I noticed that now success is making me nervous. I feel like I have to or should be living up to a higher standard. I feel an increased sense of awareness, like what I used to offer girls was good, but I could offer more and they, ideally, want more. But I'm not used to it yet, so I feel a sense of dissonance. I COULD continue to offer what I've been offering now (fun, good times, good conversation, a bit of flirting), but it's not enough, not for me or them, and I know I can offer more, I just don't know how yet, and I get that feeling of "but that's not ME" which is bullshit code for "I feel very uncomfortable trying new things."

In any case, this is something I want to continue to challenge myself with, so I'll keep it up, at least twice a week, no matter what mood I'm in. Just stick with it.

Updates on the last two closes: Nao, the less cute one who wrote back, I haven't written back to, but will this weekend, probably to invite her out for the 14th or 15th (I'll be organizing a party and bartending, respectively). Luca, the other one, actually wrote back yesterday, apologizing for her late message. She wants to meet up this weekend. I was supposed to meet Ai this Saturday, but I'll see her on Monday and I saw her for two days yesterday and the day before, so I'll cancel with her to meet Luca tomorrow.

I cancelled with Kayo for today because I wanted some time to myself to get things done. I'm still feeling like I shouldn't have... but it is my time and I can meet her again. If she really wants to see me, she'll wait, I guess. I hope.

No word from sexy bartender. Will see her around again though. If not, there's a shitload of women on mixi and on the street, anyway.

In any case, still plugging away. I'm pretty sure that soon I'll have so many options I won't know what to do, which is great for everybody all around. I was thinking maybe some day I can parlay this into some kind of self-help work or job... would be fun.

Oh yes, I've decided to give myself another challenge: I am in a bad financial state, but I'm still feeling really sociable and wanting to do this. I've decided that I am ONLY going to meet girls from either the internet (particularly mixi) or on the street, both of which are free. If I happen to get any contact information or interest, I'm ONLY going to meet one new girl a week for no more than a few hours. Only Kayo, Ai and Makiko are exceptions, since I've been seeing them regularly. I'm also going to spend no more than about 1000 yen (or $12) on any one of them at one time. This will be until either a) I find enough regulars to keep me busy or b) I get my financial situation in order.

Speaking of financial situations, I've decided that this summer I'm going to focus on the following things:
A) Finishing up my coursework so that I can create more teaching job options for myself.
B) Working on getting my own private group lessons going at a local community center.
C) Starting translations
D) Figuring out how to use my writing skills and interests to generate income (blogging, writing content for companies, editing, etc.)
E) Figuring out some way to use my teaching skills, experience and knowledge to offer services to people.
F) Getting really good at poker.

This way, I'll hopefully have four sources of income: teaching, translation, writing and coaching. If I could make the equivalent of even just 50,000 yen each from them (about $600), I'll be okay. Til then, no partying.