For as long as I can remember, I wanted multiple intimate but non-exclusive relationships with lots of women. Now I have it. I would say as of about a week or two ago, I've got six "regulars", or girls I am having sex with regularly. I adore them all. There's Makiko who I've been seeing for about 2 years now. She's nowhere near what I want ideally, but it's easy to be with her, and she's never demanded anything out of our relationships. She also seems to really enjoy sex and has a cute butt. I've known Yasuko for awhile, but we've gotten more serious in the past couple months. She's actually very sweet and is good in bed and has a pretty tight body. Rina and I just started. She's a lot of fun, spunky, intelligent and cute. She also has two kids. She doesn't seem too serious, which is a good thing. Kayo is quite sexy, voracious in bed and is a challenge. Ai is extremely pretty, young, a challenge and seems adventuresome in bed. Maybe a bit troubled, though, we'll see. Michiyo is sweet, intelligent, upbeat and we have a lot of similarities. On top of these girls are a few girls who seem interested in starting something: Sayo, Miki, Ayano, etc.
So I finally got what I wanted. It's fantastic, and educational, but at the same time, it's opened me up to certain things.
The instigator was a house party I decided to have at my place. Prior to this experience, I just invited everybody and let the chips fall where they may during the party. I wound up making out with a girl last time, so I was satisfied. So I went ahead and did the same thing this time around as well. Mistake. I wound up inviting 3 of the girls I'm seeing to be in the same place at the same time with me. Doh.
A number of things have occurred to me:
I can't keep up six relationships simultaneously forever. I can possibly prolong them by either finding the right girls or lying, but they can't go on forever. Most, if not all, of them have to end at some point.
I love intimacy. I love building intimacy and getting to know people deeply and creating something together.
Women love intimacy. But they also love feeling special, exclusive.
I don't necessarily need intimacy.
I think it would be cool to be able to bring a girl out with me and flirt with other girls and make out with them with her there and have her be cool with it. I think I could be cool with it if I understood what our relationship was about, as well.
I can't possibly maintain relationships with every single girl I think is cool. I simply don't have the time or energy.
I love women. I think there are a ton of cool, attractive women out there and I want to get to know all of them.
Sex is a precursor to a deeper and more fulfilling relationship.
I have other things in my life that I want to focus on besides women. I can't keep this up forever.
I could have a shitload of relationships with women who are cool with meeting only once or twice a month, usually just for sex and time together, not dates.
I could reduce the number of girls I see so I can focus more time, energy and money on them. This would meeting upping the quality.
I could just let the chips fall where they may as far as how many women I'm seeing and how often and what types of relationships I'm establishing.
I could work towards having one exclusive relationship.
I could just go for one night stands, which would require me learning how to seduce a woman more quickly and effectively.
I could meet lots of new women through parties, events, bars and clubs. This requires money and time. It's easier to pull women home quickly from these events. I run the risk of establishing a reputation at these places and running into people.
I could meet new women on the streets. It'll challenge me in an area I feel weak at but be fun (and free) at the same time. It'd be harder to actually create relationships with these women, at least at first, but that's part of the challenge. There's no crossover with anything else I'm doing in my life.
I could meet women online. It's easier, but slower than meeting directly. It's also an area I don't have a lot of experience or confidence at.
I could work on trying to establish and maintain as many relationships as possible. This would satisfy my desire for variety and give me a lot of experience and knowledge about women. It would also satisfy my desire for relationships and/or intimacy. It could become complicated and it seems like the women would be susceptible to considering themselves my girlfriends. It would also probably take a lot of time, and potentially money and energy.
I could try to establish even more relationships, til I reach the breaking point, then let things fall as they may. This would, for a short period of time, be extremely exhausting and time consuming, but eventually things would sort themselves out. I would also not have time for meeting other women, which could be either a good or bad thing. I could wind up discovering a lot more. I am on a bit of a rush now, so it would be very possible for me to be able to add new people now, which might be fun since there's quite a few girls interested in me now, on top of the other ones.
I could increase my ideals, and eliminate any one who doesn't meet them. This would reduce the number of women I'm seeing, and would increase the quality. It would be harder to add new girls, though, and I might miss some interesting experiences.
I could go for only girls who are cool with and aware of the fact that I see others and/or girls who are fine with going out to social events with me and seeing me mess with others. This would reduce a lot of girls, ones who are also cool but simply would rather not be aware (i.e. have it thrust in their face). However, even though I may be missing out, this would also simplify a lot of things.
I could go exclusive. I can't imagine being satisfied by this, but it would be the simplest solution.
So why do I still pursue pick up? There are still a lot of things I have yet to experience:
-The ability to cold approach women
-The ability to quickly seduce women; same night lays, minimizing resistance, screening for sexual open-mindedness
-Being with super hot women
-Meeting my ideals or desired experiences (dating a dancer, dating a sexually open minded, dating a Chinese girl, etc.)
among many others.
There are so many beautiful women out there... but the end goal of simply saying hi to them is either to get laid and then ditch them or to establish relationships.
I don't see a lot of fulfillment out of getting laid once with a girl and then having nothing (or virtually nothing) to do with them. But maybe that's just because I haven't experienced it yet? Or because I see no point in just entering a person's life and then leaving it. I'm not sure. This is something I want to try some time. Or maybe, realistically, there is no such thing. Maybe it turns into something that lingers, but in a different way than a typical relationship, where you just reconnect when it works for both of you.
Relationships seem more fulfilling now... but they also take more time, energy and money. I can go on having one night stands til I get tired of them; there's limitless potential, but there's a limit to how many relationships I can maintain in a satisfying way. How do I determine this limit? How much time and energy am I willing to dedicate to them? How do I choose between different ones? What do I do when new opportunities arise? Is my priorities new experiences or building old ones? What do I get out of maintaining multiple relationships? What do women want out of them? What do I do when I feel overwhelmed? How do I decide who to drop and who to maintain? What am I offering to women through this? What are my beliefs about love, romance, women and men, sex, monogamy and polygamy, freedom?
So many questions and so little experience.
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